Wrong Family
comedyEveryoneMy phone buzzed at 9pm. New group chat: FAMILY DINNER PLANNING. 14 people. I know none of them. Wrong number, clearly. I went to tap Leave. Then Grandma texted: "I am bringing my famous biryani Sunday. Everyone say what you are bringing." The replies rolled in. Kebabs. Salad. "The good plates." Then Uncle Tariq tagged me: "And what is this new number bringing?" The whole chat went quiet, waiting for my answer.
I said nothing. Maybe they'd forget me. They did not forget me. Auntie Shazia: "The quiet one can bring drinks." Uncle Tariq: "Agreed. Drinks." Grandma: "Not the fizzy ones. They upset your father." MY father? I typed nothing. They assigned me drinks anyway. There was a checklist now. My number had a checkmark next to it.
What happens next?
2 ways forwardI muted the chat and went to bed. Big mistake. Morning: 94 unread messages. A seating chart. A debate about chairs. Someone had written "Drinks — the quiet one" on an actual list. Then my phone buzzed. Not the group. A private message. From Grandma. Grandma: "Beta. You went quiet. Is everything okay?"