My phone buzzed at 9pm. New group chat: FAMILY DINNER PLANNING. 14 people. I know none of them. Wrong number, clearly. I went to tap Leave. Then Grandma texted: "I am bringing my famous biryani Sunday. Everyone say what you are bringing." The replies rolled in. Kebabs. Salad. "The good plates." Then Uncle Tariq tagged me: "And what is this new number bringing?" The whole chat went quiet, waiting for my answer.

I don't know why I did it. I panicked. Me: "I'll bring dessert." Three people liked it instantly. Grandma: "Good boy." Grandma called me good boy. I felt weirdly proud of myself. Then Auntie Shazia typed: "Which dessert? Be specific. We all remember the fruit incident." The fruit incident?

Me: "What was the fruit incident?" Auntie Shazia: "We don't discuss it." Uncle Tariq: "Cousin Danish brought a fruit platter to Eid. A FRUIT PLATTER." Grandma: "He is still learning." Auntie Shazia: "So. Which dessert are you bringing? Think carefully before you answer."